Baby Spartan's Mom

It’s NUTS in LA this week. Well, we all know LA is crazy. But I’m talking about the weather. Raining every single day since last weekend. And I mean torrential downpours with thunder, lightening, hail and even a tornado in Huntington Beach! I mean, what the hell? Is God punishing all the talent agents and producers in Hollywood? This kind of weather just doesn’t happen here. It was raining sideways today. SIDEWAYS. And it’s every day, non-stop relentless storms. It’s like the Terminator is in control of the heavens. Oh wait, that’s our governor, in control of our floundering state. But that’s another rant for another day…

It also sucks because this is the week I became a single mom. Well, not really. Baby-daddy is traveling. But I feel like a single mom this week. With a sick kid. And it’s my fault. I got her sick. Smart mom that I am decided to go for a walk in the cold last week when it started to sprinkle…wearing hardly anything for clothing, flip-flops and no hat…down by the beach no less where it can be freezing in the winter. Well, not like Chicago freezing. I spent 13 miserable winters in Chicago. Now that is cold. So cold and so windy some days that you can’t even breathe without turning your head to the side when you get off the train just to walk another 10 blocks downtown facing the lake in the direction of the wind where it whips through the streets as the tall buildings create a natural wind tunnel on your way to work every morning to a job you can’t stand, making you wonder why you ever crawled out of bed in the first place.

But I digress.

Try putting your sick kid to bed for the 5th time when hail starts banging against the window and scares the crap out of both of you.

{breathe Annette…just breathe}

{Don’t you think I would if I could? I have a head cold, dumbass.}

{Great. Now I’m having conversations with myself.}

{What do you expect? I’m sick and stuck in a house alone with a sick toddler who’s only word as of 3 days ago is “hi” (very cute btw), while Armageddon is taking place just outside the door, preventing us from escaping even for an hour to enjoy the beautiful Southern California weather that saved me from my frigid, Siberian existence in Chicago.}

{Now you’re just being dramatic.}

On the bright side, the weather people here are livin’ high on the hog. They actually have something to discuss other than their standard cheese shtick. I mean, how many creative ways can you say the forecast is “sunny and 70s”?

The ironic part is that Baby-daddy and I dodged a bullet this year. We were actually considering a move to La Crescenta, a beautiful little area at the foothills of the San Gabriel Mountains in the Angeles National Forest. A bit farther away from the beach than I wanted to live, but they have the best public schools. Plus, you get more bang for your buck there. We looked at countless homes last summer but decided not a week before the Station fires started burning to bag that idea. Now, the entire area up there is evacuated because of the mudslides.

As I type this, another deluge of rain is blasting through…sideways! Not kidding. And the guy across the street is standing at his window looking out at the spectacle, again. I keep seeing this guy. All week long we’ve both been standing at our giant windows staring at the weather. Either he works from home, is a stay-at-home dad or is unemployed. Considering I’ve only seen him holding a cell phone and never a child, and the fact that California’s unemployment rate is at its highest since 1940, I’m guessing choice C.

Our power went out twice this week, which is does EVERY time it rains for more than a day in Venice (I think the city engineers need to take a field trip to Seattle). Annoying. Really annoying. This is the problem with living in a town that is full of bohemian hippies. Everyone is high. Even city council. Nothing ever gets done! Anyway, the rain came pouring in through the hallway ceiling, ruining some framed photos on the wall. So all week, I’ve had candles and flashlights sitting in easy-to-find places around our home, plus a bowl to catch the water dripping down the wall in the hallway.

Lia thinks this is fun. She keeps picking up the bowl, which is half her size, and carrying it all over the house. Here she is running away from me…



Whatever makes her happy right? Watching the news makes me reassess my standards for comfort. I can handle a little darkness, a little wetness, a little noise…my daughter is safe, healthy and happy. I couldn’t ask for anything more.



{Now go to bed Annette. The baby is sleeping. You go now!}

{Alright already! I’m leaving. Just as soon as I eat this piece of chocolate mousse pie I found in the freezer and finish watching the Friends rerun I’ve already seen 20 times.}

{Okay fatty. Such an exciting life you have.}

{Now that’s just mean.}